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Saturday, January 3, 2015

::..HELLO 2015..::


:..3 January 2015..:

Supposed to post this on the first day of 2015 nope?
Haha~ Kit failed to find the mood of blogging afraid of bad mood will affect the contents
So ya~ it's always better to do something in a good mood 
Keep silence when you're in anger; don't promise when you're upset =)

Shall I start with 2014 review? Hmm... Wondering who is actually reading my blog
Assume there's no one reading? Hahaha 
So I'm gonna write anything I wish =D

TOP 10 HAPPY EVENTS IN 2014
  1. Kuching trip with lovely Ah-Shu in February. Finally managed to have a vacation with uni-mates. A precious memories and time spent with Ah-Shu at Kuching. Managed to get myself a camera a day before =) 
  2. Had an interview with Dr.Diana, a great psychologist who owns an amazing and well-adapted office. Amazed by her room once I stepped in. Tools for art therapy, child therapy etc is just too fascinating! A talk with her is totally worth for the hard work paid before (ignore the efforts of searching for therapists and called/emailed them 1 by 1) 
  3. Attended to IMU ball as a photographer with my girls -- Ah-Shu and Aji. Being first time attend to ball night although it wasn't my prom night. Shall I go next time? Well it depends.
  4. A farewell party and Teacher Day celebration for PS211 and all psychology lecturers. A really simple celebration which I personally thinking. Yet seniors' response tell me that I'm wrong. They touched by our efforts and thoughts! Was actually busy for thesis and other assignments and this celebration. Had not enough time for video-making until the day morning. Ended-up I made a careless mistake in the video, yet it became a point for laughter and fun. Glad that everyone enjoyed on that day.  
  5. An advanced birthday surprise from PS212-- my lovely cohort. **the post about this still saved in draft lol** Everyone looked so normal as usual. Can't sense nervousness from Aji Hahaha~ Cheated by QS to library to wait for Ms.Sam. Suspect at first because Ms.Sam seldom ask us to meet her in library especially in collaborative study area. But the thought just flash in mind for 2 seconds because mind was totally occupied by "LUNCH TIME--FOOD" anyway still got hint from "someone" and ya~ mind started to suspect and puzzle up all the rare things. But still have no idea on what are they trying to do. Thank you PS212~ LOVE ya~
  6. Getaway to Sunway Lagoon after eos! Yeah! First time hang out together with Diandra and Zul. Because of lacking of "partner", paired up with Ah-Shu and we became 1 day couple. Haha.. Its really fun and joy is everywhere. **until today I still don't understand how Vuvuzela looks special for my friends** LOL
  7. Hang out with Tien, Wei Wei and Gordon at Wetland, Putrajaya for photography session. So warm to get back to nature and feel the sunshine. I miss photography activity like this. 
  8. Sekinchan trip with parents and Bro Bryant. Had very delicious and cheap seafood lunch. **craving for crispy sotong while typing this post lol**
  9. Secret Santa gift exchange with PS212. Our last year to celebrate Christmas together. So much love and caring from my lovely friends. Thank you my secret santa-- Suzie. =) and special thanks to Aji, for making me a special shoes; Many thanks to Ah-Shu for your present which shipped from oversea(?) Will make good use of it =D
  10. Volunteer as a photographer for Christmas event at Paediatric unit, HKL. Felt glad that I joined this meaningful event and witness the joy, laughter we brought for them. Thank you my partner-in-crime. Again, the lovely pretty lady-- Ah-Shu. xD

Bad things? Of course there are. I not going to post them out. Perhaps the memories will fade as time goes. It's not worth to keep all these right?

Keep losing myself in 2014. Don't ask why. If I could know why, I won't lost and lost again. Lost and Found. And Lost again. Some thing I try to ignore indeed I care very much inside heart core. And all these things come from one root. Can't release myself from the trap? Ya. Look like I am tied. No matter how fast how far I run, once one pull the rope, I will be back. The more I learn, The more I see, The more I hear, The more I feel, the more I lost. Since when I perceive things in pessimism way. There're two sounds in my mind telling me "you should be sad" "you should look from different perspective and you'll be happy". Getting tired of listening to them. I finally shut them off and now I have no feeling. I put myself into numbness. Is a temporary state until I regulate don't worry. 

Sometimes I trapped into dilemma of worrying you to know yet wanting you to see. Until her words actually strike my heart, for being so long I thought no one could actually understand me. She told our friend: She (me) keep everything inside her heart. We all won't know. All she need is just to vent them out. I, really surprised and blanked at that moment. Somehow I thought no one understand me. Feel so comfortable and secure. Because there's someone who understand me? Yes.
I don't usually tell people my secrets. All stuff I shared is on the surface and not really matter for me. Those I didn't share, is really matter for me and no one will know. No one. =)

This post suddenly become a sad post. Haha~ I'm sorry. 

Let's check my 2014 wishlist. Hehehe.. Shall we? 
  1. Ferris Wheel
  2. Watch              CHECKED
  3. Camera            CHECKED
  4. Wallet              CHECKED
  5. Backpack         CHECKED
  6. Instax Camera
  7. Pocket Watch
  8. Handmade stuff
Not bad~ *hands clap* At least I got half of the list. Hahaha~ Some is present some I bought myself. Many thanks to those who gift. Shall renew my 2015 wishlist~ Let's check next year =3

Words for 2015(?) Hmm~ what should I say... ...

Dear 2015,

2014 marks an unhappy year for me. Of course I will ask you please be good to me. I know this is a wish, not demand. I will work hard for a happy year, happy me. I gain some lessons from your brother, 2014. It's not a bad thing for him to teach me, just that the messages he gave somehow make me confuse, have no idea what should I do. Yeah, He gave me a lot of hard times, for me to see through some people, understand some things. I really tired of doing something. Feel wanna give up on doing yet I keep telling myself "let try 1 more time". The result is disappointed. I tired of being disappointed. Maybe I shall listen to him, give up and stop trying anymore. I tried before, the progress is just so unnoticeable and no one cares. 

If you ask am I happy? I not sure. Maybe doing what I want to do now is difficult and full of challenges. Some people might notice in the half way. This time, I not going to let them to pull me back.  Bless me 2015. I will work hard for myself, live for myself. Oh yeah~ gotta find me back. Happy fool or wise sage? I want both! 

Love you~ 2015!  

Today's Quote:
Change only be better, not to please others.